WE HAVE THE POWER TO BE HAPPY

I have been thinking a lot about life lately. Not only because of the struggles and hard times that I have gone through but because I see loved ones and close friends going through similar situations.

People who have successful jobs and beautiful families and careers are deep down, not truly happy. I mean, I guess we, they, are happy but it is more contentment than anything. Many people I have spoken with have a life of "I should have," or "If only" I had done this or that.  

So often, people I know just went with what they thought they should do as the next step, according to society's standards, myself included.

It has lead me to my conclusion that the ultimate goal in life is that internal search for happiness. No matter who you are or where you live or what you believe in, you just want to be happy. 

The million dollar question is: "What is it that really makes us happy?" We spend our whole lives trying to figure that out.  We are taught from the moment we are young that growing up and being successful,  getting married and having children is the way to go. Never along the way is emotional well-being ever a priority.  By that I mean, no one ever really taught us to be happy with ourselves first to find out what makes us truly tick. No one really teaches to to find out what is that goal that will make us happy from within? 

Instead, we are taught to go to school, to go to college, to get the best job possible to work 9 to 5, to get married, to have kids and that this is the WAY to go. Of course, education is important but it doesn't always have to be the only option. 

We live our lives where we are always dreading Mondays and looking forward to taking time off. A great majority of society lives for vacations to escape their "reality."  Why are we not genuinely happy with what we are doing? I mean, I'm sure there are those who are genuinely happy. I know during my time in the music business I was extremely happy and fulfilled with what I was doing,,, but again it was because I was doing what truly made ME happy. 

Then that biological clock starts ticking and we start looking around and seeing that we are not where we are "suppose to be yet." At least not in the place we have been indoctrinated with: married, kids, big house etc.. For some reason, this equals success to society.

Why do we not teach our youth today that they have the power within them to make themselves happy? We do not need to go looking for another human being to feel that sense of satisfaction? Sure, it is wonderful to spend your life with somebody and share the joys but I believe our society has it all backwards.  

We are taught that we must find someone to be happy and then we must have kids to be an even happier. That cycle never seems to end. Then we get to mid life and wonder what we've done with our lives. 

I believe that from the time our children are young we should teach them to express their feelings. We think it's okay that little girls write in their diaries and that it's OK for them to cry but how about the boys? Do they get to write in their diaries and express their feelings? I am sure there are some who do and this is wonderful, but generally speaking, it is not the way we are all brought up.

Why is it not OK for boys to cry, for men to cry? It has always been seen as a sign of weakness. Well, I disagree. I think it is important to nourish that emotional state and all the feelings that we have as we are growing. I truly believe that we should encourage emotional expression and well-being. I believe that we should teach our children respect, empathy and compassion. I think that we should focus more on the well-being of an individual and less about their test-taking skills. 

Ultimately, I believe that life's goal should be to be truly happy with ourselves and when we find that happiness we should share it and make a positive difference in the world. Of course, we have obligations as we reach adulthood, but I think life would be a whole lot easier if we learned to do the things that make us (emotionally) happy from the time we were young and continue to do so all throughout our teen years and well into adulthood. And by that I mean, not conforming to society standards,  continuously having to live by the rules of what make others happy for us.

For example, that girls only get to play with dolls and that boys only get to play with trucks and that when you reach a certain age in adulthood you should get married. Obviously, we have come a very long way with those things I just mentioned, but the biggest factor still remains, learning that we need to love ourselves first and be happy with ourselves before we can make anyone else happy. And most importantly, when we finally do find that person to share our lives with and we begin a family, we should not give up all the things we love to do, the things that make us happy as individuals. 

I believe we should learn to express our feelings and follow our passion and do what makes us genuinely happy. We all have that power within us.  The key is, learning to access that power.  We need to learn to genuinely be ourselves and express our feelings without the fear of criticism from society.  And if we have kids, we need to raise them to be respectful, compassionate and empathetic human beings, but most importantly. teach them that happiness is a vital component in life.  We need to let them know and others, that it is okay to be who you are, not what society wants us to be.

We ALL have the power to be happy! Get inspired!

 

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LIFE IS FALLING APART?

The hardest time to be positive and happy is when you feel your life is "falling apart!"  Sometimes we feel this way because our career may not be headed where we think it should be, or sometimes, there are marital issues or sometimes even worse, it could be financial problems.  Sure, it is easy to be happy when everything is going well, but when things are going in the wrong direction, well, that's when you need all your strength to come in.  This is why it is so important to keep reading positive messages, books, blog posts, articles, quotes, anything to keep you motivated and surrounded by people who will lift your spirits, not bring you down.  It is very difficult to maintain a positive attitude if you have lost a job, a loved one, or if you are going though an emotional roller coaster because of a relationship.

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho

This sometimes tends to be the case, as they say, "when it rains it pours," and everything happens to you at once, or so you feel.  It is in moments like this that you must gather up all of your courage and strength, put your big boy or girl pants on, and keep moving forward!

Remember that even when things seem grim, there is always a silver lining.  One door closing, usually means something better awaits you!  Learn to live your life to be happy and everything else will follow!  It is how we view things that affects our reaction to it.  Even if something bad happens to us or around us, knowing that it will eventually get better, will help you move on.  There is always sunshine after a storm. It may take a while, but it will shine again and so will you!

TIPS TO STAY POSITIVE WHEN THINGS AROUND YOU ARE NOT:

• Surround yourself with positive people
• Read books, messages, quotes that will motivate and inspire you
• Volunteer at an organization or find someone to help or mentor
• Try not to complain for one week (or one day at a time)
• If you want to be inspired, inspire someone else

“If you can dream it, then you can achieve it.  You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

LEARN HOW TO MAKE A VISION BOARD AND GET MOTIVATED!

Do you need some motivation to get you going every day? I know I do!  Remember, "You become what you think!" So, why not think happy & positive thoughts every day?

A good way to help you do this is by creating a "vision board," which is a trending topic in success and entrepreneur blogs lately. It is as simple as putting pictures together of things/people that motivate you, a collage of sorts.  You can be as creative and fancy as you want or just keep it simple by cutting and pasting pictures together on a poster board.

The point it not about the artwork, per se, it is about the motivation factor and about visualizing what you want in your life.  It is about YOUR dreams, your goals, your desires, your joys.  It is a "board" to look at that is visually appealing to you. It is not about making it attractive for someone else, it is about seeing pictures of what is going to motivate you on a daily basis.

When you are done with it, you can place it in your office, kitchen, bedroom, wherever you are going to see it often, so that it serves as a reminder and motivator.
I made my "Happy Vision Board" online using pictures of people I love, and quotes that inspire me!  I used an app called, Pic Monkey, and simply chose the collage feature and placed the pictures I wanted in the open slots.  It is so simple, it even gives you the option to choose your layout and the number of pictures you can use.  Remember, if you do not want to get technical on the computer, simply paste some of your favorite pictures on a canvas or poster board.   I have chosen this online method and now I can use mine as my background screensaver, as well as print it for visual motivation.

Whatever way you choose to create your vision board, it will be fun and it will serve as a daily reminder of what you should be grateful for and for the things you are striving for.
Here are some ideas for pictures:

• Pictures of your kids or grand kids;
• Vacation spot;                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
• Car or dream house;  
• Dream job
• Pictures of your "skinny" self
•  Pictures of people who inspire you                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Simply cut out inspiring pictures or quotes from your favorite magazine.
And here are some ideas of what your Vision Board can look like:



Now go get yourself a board bulletin or poster board and get started on your Vision Board to hang at your desk, your workspace, kitchen or a place where you will be inspired every time you look at it. Grab some magazines and aim for a few images that speak to you! 

Good luck and have a great time!